He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
