I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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