oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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