@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
