Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
