hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize