..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
