The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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