this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize