you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
