I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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