Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
