Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
