Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
