Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
