Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize