btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my phone needs a breathalizer
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
