so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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