I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
