Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize