Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Can i not drive my cunt home
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
