So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im holly from the hills drunk
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
