She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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