we're blogging at a bar
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
