Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
