I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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