The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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