Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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