You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
