Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
