and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize