we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
