I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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