lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
