Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
