She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
