i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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