I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
