My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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