Yo dont text me then not text me
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My life is pants optional.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
