I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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