The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
