just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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