Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
