Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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