People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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