question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize