dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
