oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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