I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
