her vagine was all disorganized.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
