also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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