Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
