haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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