32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
