I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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