Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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