Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
