Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
