Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
