I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
