about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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