That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
