FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
