NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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