yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
