I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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